The 7 Deadly Marketing SinsBy: Alvin Apple
Gather round everybody! Today is Judgment Day. Let's bring out those old scoundrels, the Seven Deadly Marketing Sins, and see what they have to say about our lives as marketers.
What do you have to say, Pride?
I am Pride. I fall in love with my product, with no thought to whether there is any market for it. When I discover that there is no market for my product, I continue to spend money on advertising, even when it is apparent that nothing will come of it. I am willing to go broke marketing something there is no market for because I insist that it is a genius idea.
Okay, that was very insightful, Pride. Let's move on to Greed.
I am Greed. I want to sell my product, but I am not willing to spend any money to do it. I don't care how important marketing is. I can sell my product without it. I don't want to spend a dime more than I have to. I like my money to stay where it is, even if it means I never make any more money.
Wow, Greed! You are one frugal sin! How about you, Wrath? Can you add to what Greed shared with us?
I am Wrath. My advertising didn't work right away! That makes me so mad! I don't think that this advertising is ever going to work. That's it. I give up. I hate losing money on something that isn't going to work. Yeah, yeah, so I just started advertising yesterday. But I want results and I want them now!
Wrath, you and Greed should get together. You have a lot in common. Now, Envy, I'm certain that you have something a little more constructive to add.
I am Envy. I want to do exactly what others are doing, even if it means trying to sell in an already saturated market. I will assume that, if I do what others are doing, I will succeed in marketing my product. I don't want to figure out a unique selling position for my own product. I will just do what those other people are doing and not worry about finding an edge. I just want to make some money, like that other guy.
Envy, Envy, Envy. Didn't anyone ever tell you to figure out what your own strengths are and go with them? On to you, Gluttony.
I am Gluttony. I spent all my money on marketing, every penny. I blew it all and it didn't even work. Of course, I didn't really test the success of a marketing strategy before I spent all my money on it, but that shouldn't matter, should it. I mean, I spent sooo much money. I marketed on radio and television and through direct mail. Maybe I should have researched a little more about my target market before I spent my entire marketing budget. Too late now. I'm broke!
Sorry about that, Gluttony. You're up Sloth!
I am Sloth. I don't bother to research the market before I begin marketing. It is too much effort to find out what the market wants. I don't really like to ask my customers why they bought from me, or go to discussion groups to see what kind of marketing works for different target personalities. That would take a lot of movement and I don't want to strain myself.
Well, we don't want to take any more of your time and energy, Sloth. Last but not least, we have. . .Lechery?
I am Lechery. I lose interest in customers after a sale. I don't understand the value of a lifetime customer. As soon as the sale is over, they are out the door, and I don't even care. Sometimes I say I will call, offer them some promotion or other, but I never do it. They're just customers. There are plenty of other fine customers out there. None of them are special. I get what I want out of them and I get lost. I don't want some needy customer hanging around all the time, wanting to employ my services or give me money for my products. Talk about cramping my lifestyle!
That's it folks. The Seven Deadly Marketing Sins have laid it all out for you. So what do you think? Are you going to marketing heaven or will you suffer eternal marketing torment?
© 2001, Alvin Apple
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